The Abysmal Leviathan that just wanted a friend
by Ranowa Hikura
Summary: Total crack fic. Oneshot during a Skyward Sword boss battle, from the boss's point of view. Once again, just a crack fic. Disclaimer: I don't own it.


I find it sad that THIS is my first Zelda fic, but here we are. Spoilers for Skyward Sword, Sand Ship temple. Total crack fic. OOC, impossibility etc. Inspired by my brother's fight with the sand ship's boss, which, though I had already fought it, I thought it looked cute. Then... this happened. (Bonus ending: Casey and Olivia adopt the Abysmal Leviathan) Enjoy!

Tentalus looked up at the ship above him. The little human boy was running around and ridding it of monsters- that was so nice of him. Ever since the moblins had taken control of the ship, they would follow him around and attack him. That boy was so sweet.

After all the monsters were gone, a strange woman appeared next to him and said, "I conjecture that there is a 90% probability that this is the key to the location of the sacred flame."

The boy groaned and said, "Finally. Fi, time travel on this ship is confusing. If someone destroyed this 'Sand ship', I would thank them in all the languages of the world. And what the hell is a sand ship, anyway..." His voice trailed off as he and the woman went inside, but that got Tentalus thinking.

Because of his monstrous appearance, people thought he would eat them or hurt them, but all he really wanted was a friend. It even got to the point where people called him an Abysmal Leviathan. That made him sad.

Tentalus had talked to the Thunder Dragon about this. No one liked the Thunder Dragon because he made people go through very unfair Cave of Ordeals type things just to get a hunk of metal, but even he said that Tentalus looked rather like a cute monster. One that people would like to cuddle up with. All he wanted was to be friends with people but they were so scared when they saw him, they never got the chance.

But, this boy here and his woman friend were nice. They were getting rid of the monsters that had been after him for so long. How could Tentalus ever repay them?

Well, the boy did say he would be very happy with whoever destroyed the ship. So Tentalus could tear the ship apart, make sure to save the boy and his friend from the wreckage, and then introduce himself. Was it possible that he had found a friend?

However, when he stuck his tentacles in the ship to begin to destroy it, someone started cutting them off. What? But all the monsters were gone!

Maybe the boy had missed one. Yes, that's it! The boy had missed a monster and now, that monster was attacking him- the boy could even be in trouble.

Tentalus continued trying to help the boy, but his tentacles kept getting cut off. Finally, though, the boy escaped the ship, and Tentalus smiled in relief. He leaned forward and roared, "I want to be your friend!"

The boy drew a shiny stick off his back and acted like he wanted to hug Tentalus. "Thank you!" he roared and forced many of his tentacles through the ship's deck so he could hug the boy without crushing him.

But the boy started slashing at his tentacles with his shiny stick, and his tentacles started falling off. Tentalus was confused. He thought the boy wanted to hug him...

So Tentalus pulled his tentacles back and tried just lying them down so the boy could hug him that way. But then the boy fired something at his eye!

Maybe the boy wanted him to come down to his level, then. Tentalus lowered his head so he could talk to him, but the boy started stabbing him in the eye over and over and over again.

Tentalus roared in pain and pulled back, then decided that the boy did want to be his friend, but he wasn't sure how to hug him when he was so big. So, instead, Tentalus allowed his tentacles to grow mouths on the end and sent them forward to try and kiss the boy on the cheek. But the boy started cutting them all off like Tentalus was trying to hurt him!

"Wait, I just want to be your friend!" Tentalus bellowed, but the boy wouldn't stop shooting things at his eye and cutting off his tentacles. Finally, Tentalus just gave up. "Fine. I understand," he sighed, turning to swim away. Before he left, though, his heart swelled with love and he left behind a heart container, the physical manifestation of the lonely creature's love.

"Finally!" Link exclaimed when the creature disappeared in cloud of smoke. "God, what does an abysmal leviathan have against me, anyway? Anyway, now that I've gotten the sacred flame, let's go back to Faron. I want to talk to some of those cute Kikwis again!"

Fi just sighed. Her master may be the chosen hero and all, but sometime he was just annoying.


End file.
